Scars that bleed

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It’s sad watching myself change
My heart which was once warm and welcoming
Has become cold and displeasing
I feel pain as my heart fails to pump desires due to scars and cuts it has acquired
Even plasters meant to hold slip off when my heart pumps faster when tempted by a desire

I cry tears that freeze before they roll out
Shattering as they hit the ground
As my being gets colder
And unbearable for people to touch

And so I return to my cave where I once was
My bed waiting to welcome me
Silence mocking me
Echoes mimicking me
With ropes and chains taunting me
As I decide which one to use to end the misery

But then I meet a surgeon
Who had mercy
She welcomed me with open arms
Gave prescriptions
And checked In daily

I prepare for my surgery happily
As I walk through nervously
Foreseeing the healing beyond
And when I lay on the bed to rest
I die in love

I wake up after the surgery
Feeling more pain than ever
And then I realize
Surgeons make deeper cuts
And leave the biggest scars

So I walk around daily
With doses of Anastasia to numb the pain
Putting plasters on bleeding scars
Feeling nothing
Losing hope
Having nothing to hold on to
But a heart with bleeding scars

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